January - The Start

I really don't know where to begin.  I never had a blog before unless you count my Open Diary which I consider one of the first blogging sites on the internet.  Things seemed easier to write about when I was 15 or 16 years old.  Somehow the older me forgot how to express my thoughts and feelings through words, be it spoken or written.  I decided to give this blog a whirl to get my emotions out.  So far my journey has just begun, but I am feeling more emotional then ever.  I don't want to suppress or hide these emotions.  I am awakened.

Really my whole idea for transformation began way before new years eve.  Two years ago I took a trip to Salem, MA and felt that my awakening began there.  When I came back from my trip I was a little bit wiser to the Wiccan religion (I, however, am not a practicing Wiccan, but many of the concepts/ideas that the religion discusses resonated with me).  From that point on, I became a lot more conscious of the earth and what I consumed and put into my body. 

Shortly after I became vegetarian which only lasted for 8 months.  I did, however, change my beauty products because I am a firm believer of what I put onto or into my body will affect me on a whole. 

This summer, after watching the documentary Food, Inc I decided to give up meat little by little.  I have been off meat since November.  While my family gorged themselves on turkey for Thanksgiving, I ate a vegan turkey loaf which I have to say was delicious! 

I have struggled with a mild case of seasonal depression in the past as well as and eating disorder in my teens and early 20s.  After starving myself of nutrients and goodness (which totally wrecked myself emotionally and physically) I decided that there has to be a better way.  A better way to connect with my inner being, mother nature, and life. 

Around Christmas I decided to devote the whole year of 2011 to my Awakening.  I would like to change myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  My intentions are all positive and pure.  On January 1st I lit a candle that I anointed and poured my intentions for 2011 into, and I can see that my intentions have stuck with me.  I am not the type of person that holds on to resolutions for an entire year, but for the whole month of January I have been progressing.  Some may say this is because I am evolving as a human being.  Others might say that I am totally insane, but I truly don't care. 

January my focus was my physical self.  With past experiences with eating disorders I have come to the conclusion that one cannot have a healthy soul or mind without a healthy body.  It is our temple.  I have been focusing on not only nourishing my body with more of a plant based whole grain diet, but challening my body with strenghth training and running.  I am seeing results in my moods and changes in my physical self as well. 

Sunday I had my first deep tissue massage in over a year.  Something interesting has been occuring within me.  Another part of my reformation is to give up all my bad habits and replace them with new habits that are nourishing.  I stopped drinking and smoking for an entire month.  After my massage I felt euphoric, high like I just smoked.  About a few hours later and into Monday and Tuesday I became miserable, lethargic, and irritable.  I am predicting that it was all the toxins stored deep into my muscles pouring out.  Today was the first day I feel really good.

Well, that is my story.  I am beginning my spiritual journey beginning today.  February my focus is on becoming more spiritually sound. 

Light and love!
Breezie